Standing Stone
by ioanhoratio
Summary: Season 7 speculation story based on spoilers from the premier. BEWARE IF YOU'RE SPOILER FREE!  I couldn't resist!  Danny and Lindsay angst abound.
1. Chapter 1

**Standing Stone**

**Part 1**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: SPOILER ALERT! Please don't read if you're waiting for the first episode of season 7 to air in order to find out what happened to Shane Casey. Ok, now that's out of the way, this is just a purely speculative story based on some of the information we've been give regarding season 7. It's my little DL shipper mind going into overload and needing an outlet! ^_^ Now, I know what you're thinking, "What is she doing starting _another_ story when there are so many of her stories that need updating?" Well, I have committed to finish this story BEFORE the season actually premiers. I have less than three weeks to finish this and I'm kind of excited to work under a deadline! So, give it a chance and if I don't keep my promise to update frequently I will allow you all to think of a reasonable form of punishment! LOL!**

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"Danny?"

At the sound of his name, Danny Messer glanced up from the evidence he was analyzing and saw his boss standing in the door of the lab, the man's stoic face causing an uncomfortable feeling to form in Danny's stomach.

"Yeah Boss?" he responded, squinting his eyes as if he could discern the problem through sensory detection.

"Have you heard from Lindsay? She's an hour late for work, and I haven't heard from her," Mac stated, getting straight to the point in his typical fashion.

Danny felt his anxiety heighten, though he managed to hide it well. "Ya know, I've been so involved in this case I haven't paid any attention to my phone. I bet she left me a message askin' me ta tell ya she was runnin' late. Let me check."

Mac gave a nearly imperceptible nod, and Danny responded by peeling off his latex gloves and snatching his phone out of his pocket. His heart plummeted when his phone showed no missed calls, nor any new text messages. He shook his head at Mac. "I'll call 'er. She probably jus' got caught up in traffic or somethin'" he offered lamely. They both knew it was a flimsy excuse. Lindsay wasn't immune to the occasional tardiness, especially with having Lucy, sometimes everything worked against her and despite her best efforts she may be 10 or 15 minutes late for work. It was few and far between, but it happened. However, being an hour late was absolutely out of character; particularly having not called ahead.

Danny ignored the gnawing in his chest as he listened to the rings, counting them. He soon heard her voice announce her name and that she was unable to answer, followed by the tone indicating for him to record a message.

"Linds, Mac is wonderin' where ya are babe, an' I gotta say I'm a little worried. Give me a call soon, a'right." He flipped the phone shut, and pressed his lips tightly together. "I'll try the home phone." He again opened his phone and made the call. Mac had moved farther into the lab, but kept a bit of distance between them which was fine with Danny. The tension in his own body couldn't handle his space being invaded by another person. When their answering machine picked up, Danny had to ignore the urge to just hang up in frustration. Instead, he left a similar message and then hung up.

"She ain't answerin'" Danny said uselessly. Mac was a smart enough guy to have figured out that Lindsay hadn't answered the phone.

"Danny," Mac began, his tone firm, but understanding, "what's going on?"

Danny's immediate response was to act like he didn't know what Mac was referring to, but almost as if Mac had read his mind, the older man's eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened-daring his subordinate to lie to him.

Danny ran a hand roughly through his hair, and shrugged. "Things aren't gettin' better Mac. Sometimes I think they're gettin' worse, ya know?"

Mac's only response was a slight tilt of his head, indicating for Danny to continue.

"I thought those three months in therapy would help, but she hated every second of it, an' I don't think she told the doc anything, at least nothin' important. It's been nearly six months an' I still find her staring off into space, thinkin' about it. She's quiet," he finished softly.

"Quiet?" Mac asked, seeking clarification.

"Yeah, quiet, like before, when she wouldn't talk to me, before she left for Montana ta testify," Danny explained.

Mac's expression darkened slightly. "Has she talked to you about it at all?"

"Yeah, of course Mac, we _are_ husband and wife. It's not really somethin' we could jus' ignore," Danny said defensively, then immediately regretted it when Mac raised an eyebrow. Danny received the nonverbal reprimand and continued in a less aggressive tone, "I know she's upset because of Casey bein' in our home, holdin' our daughter, pointin' a gun at me. I get that. I know she's never had to shoot someone, never had to kill someone, but she won't ever let me tell 'er I'm proud of her for what she did. She cuts me off every time, an' don't even get me started on the fights we've had over that medal the city gave 'er. You'd think she was bein' punished if you go by her reaction."

Mac took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips, fortifying his position. "Look Danny, I don't want to get involved in your marriage, but I can't ignore an employee not showing up for work, and this isn't the first indication that Lindsay is having trouble at work. She's been distracted, moody..."

"I know," Danny interrupted, "This is how she gets when she's bein' chased by some demon."

Danny grew silent, and Mac allowed him his moment of quiet. Danny thought about his wife, and the pain he had seen in her eyes, the vulnerability. "I gotta find 'er Mac."

Not waiting for a response, Danny again turned to his phone and quickly dialed.

"Who are you calling?" Mac asked, his own concern for Lindsay growing.

"The sitter," Danny answered, but was cut off from any further explanation when he heard the friendly voice on the other end. "Paige? You at home with Luce?...Oh, ok...No, that's fine. Everything goin' a'right? Lucy's ok?...A'right, you guys have fun...Bye."

Danny knew, he knew he had to get to his wife as quickly as possible. It was a feeling, it was the pounding of his heart, it was the fear he felt invading his mind.

"Well?" Mac pushed, startling Danny, who in his emotional upheaval had forgotten about the other man.

"Sitter says she picked up Lucy an hour and a half ago, an' Linds gave her money to take Lucy to an indoor playground and then out ta lunch. Lindsay shoulda been here by now. Mac..." Danny trailed off, his question clear.

"Go," Mac responded, "I'll take over here, you've got two hours. And when you find her, we're going to have to sit down and deal with this."

"Sure," Danny said simply, pulling off his lab coat and heading for the door. He paused just before exiting and threw over his shoulder, "Thanks Mac."

"Just find her."

Danny jogged to his shared office to grab his coat, his heart racing. He knew there was the possibility that everything was fine, but his gut was telling him otherwise. The memory of last night's fight played over and over again in his mind.

"_Where is it?" Danny snap._

"_I said I don't know," Lindsay barked, "Just leave it alone."_

"_Leave it alone? I asked you to do this nearly a month ago an' you still haven't done it."_

_Lindsay stuck her chin out in defiance and just shook her head._

"_I can't take a photograph of it if I don't have it Lindsay," Danny pointed out._

"_Why do you want a photo of it anyway?"_

"'_Cause I wanna make sure you can show it to Lucy an' right now it's new and, I don't know, shiny. She's too young to appreciate how important it is, but when she's older I'd like for her to be able to see it, an' I'd like for her to see you wearin' it," Danny tried to explain. He had wanted to take a photo of Lindsay when she had been wearing her uniform, right after being awarded the Combat Cross Medal, but there had been a lot of handshaking and congratulations, and before he knew it they were back at the lab and she had changed._

"_Well, I don't want Lucy to know about it," Lindsay confessed angrily._

_He closed his eyes in frustration. They had been having the same argument since Mac had told them he'd recommended Lindsay to receive the award. Danny knew the only reason she hadn't declined was because she hadn't wanted to disappoint Mac._

"_Don't close your eyes and sigh like that at me," Lindsay bit out, "I told you from the beginning I didn't want it."_

"_Why are you bein' like this?" he demanded, "Will it really kill you to just stand there holding the damn thing and let me snap a shot of it? I'm proud of what you did, an' I want Lucy to be proud..."_

"_You can't," Lindsay interrupted abruptly, her tone resolute._

"_I can't what? Can't be proud of you?"_

"_You can't take a photo of it," Lindsay said simply._

"_An' why's that?" Danny asked folding his arms across his chest._

"_Because I...I don't have it," Lindsay admitted quietly._

"_You mean it's at work or somethin'?" Danny wanted to know._

"_I mean, it's probably in some landfill somewhere, because I threw it away."_

"_You what?" Danny cried, then immediately snapped his mouth shut. They had been mindful of their sleeping daughter, but this revelation had surprised him enough that reasonable thought had fled for a moment. _

_Lindsay shushed him harshly, and they both stood silent, listening. When it became clear that Lucy was still asleep, Danny continued in a much quieter voice, "You threw it away?"_

_Lindsay lowered her head to avoid his accusing gaze. She nodded, her hair falling around her face._

"_Why?" Danny pleaded, his anger replaced by concern. When she gave no immediate response he tried again, "Please Lindsay, I don't understand. What you did was a good thing. You protected your family. Help me understand."_

"_I can't," Lindsay choked out. She turned from him and wrapped her arms around herself. "It takes so much energy to keep control of this. I don't know if I can talk about it and not lose control."_

"_What does that mean?" _

"_You've killed people," Lindsay answered, her back still to him._

_Her redirect confused him, and he didn't like where this was going. He didn't like the darkness he heard in her voice. "It's the job," was all he said in response._

"_It's the job," Lindsay repeated softly. Danny could hear the distance in her voice. Then she suddenly turned, her face hard. "Have you ever received an award for killing someone?"_

_Ignoring her question, Danny tried to argue, "It's not an award for killing someone Lindsay. It's an award for being courageous, and reacting calmly in an intense situation, and for savin' lives; the lives of your husband and daughter."_

_Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Having you two is reward enough. Let's just leave it at that."_

_Danny shoved her attempts to end the conversation aside. "Lindsay, you walk around like you've done something' wrong, like you're waiting to be punished."_

"_Maybe I should be," she breathed, and before he could respond she added, "I'm done talking about this. I'm tired and I just want to go to bed." She stormed off, leaving a stunned Danny standing in the middle of the living room._

Danny roughly shoved his arms into his coat. He had wanted to press her, get her to explain what she had meant, but he knew he would have only grown more frustrated with her. His wife could be surprisingly firm when she wanted to, and it was like talking to a stone statue at times. Now, in hindsight, he wished he had tried harder. She had given him the cold shoulder in bed, and he had responded by rolling over, their backs only inches apart but the distance between them much further. He had been called into work early that morning and had left with a whispered, "I love you" to his barely awake wife.

He had known things weren't right, he just hadn't realized how bad they were. On his way to the garage to grab his car, he pulled out his phone, calling for help. "Hey Adam, I need a favor, I need ya to see if you can trace a cell phone for me..."

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**To be continued...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Oh, and I want to add that I know it is not that easy to track a cell phone, but I figure since they get away with it all the time on the show I could too ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Standing Stone**

**Part 2**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: Alright, here is the next chapter and I am both excited and nervous. I'm really pleased with how this chapter turned out, and I really hope you guys like it! I'm nervous it isn't going to come across how I want it to, but we'll see! You guys are just going to have to tell me ^_^. Speaking of, let me say THANK YOU to those who reviewed the first chapter: wolfeylady, laurzz, conche, uscrocks, Dine89, afrozenheart412, and webdlfan. This one is for you guys and the fantastic folks over at DLChem!**

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Danny sped quickly to his home. According to Adam, that's where he would find Lindsay, or at least find her cell phone, and he figured that was the best place to start. On the drive over he had again tried her phone, but was unsurprised when he was met with her voice mail each time. He felt his anger build, anger at himself.

"Damn it!" He shouted, punching the passenger seat. The car in front of him was moving hesitantly through the busy traffic, only fueling his frustration. "Come on! Move already!" He laid on is horn and the driver of the other vehicle gave Danny an inappropriate hand gesture.

"Son of a bitch," Danny mumbled as the lane of traffic next to him opened up enough for him to squeeze over and speed past the offending vehicle. He was being irrational, but he was too focused on getting to Lindsay. He'd accepted too much as being alright over the past few months, like Lindsay's insistence that Lucy sleep in their bed at night. It had taken Danny over a month before he had been able to convince her that Lucy would be safe in her own room, but even then Danny knew that on nights he had to work, Lindsay kept Lucy in bed with her. He hadn't stopped her from finding out Shane Casey's birthday, and where they had buried him when no family member had come forward to claim the body. He hadn't fought her when she told him she didn't want to go to therapy anymore, despite the therapists recommendation that she continue. He hadn't known what to do, so he'd done nothing.

Danny finally pulled into the basement garage under their apartment building and parked. Despite being protected by brick wall, Danny felt the cold November wind cut through him as he ran from his vehicle to the elevator.

"Come on," he muttered over and over again as the elevator moved slowly from floor to floor. When it stopped on his floor he didn't wait for the doors to fully open before darting out, and heading for his family's small apartment. Once inside he noted how quiet it was, his voice sounding harsh in contrast as he called out for her. He moved from room to room searching for her, but found nothing. He saw her phone sitting on the stand next to their bed, where he knew she had left it the night before. He couldn't find her and had begun to panic when one last place to look popped in his head.

He let out a loud breath as he made out her petite frame sitting outside. He moved quickly to the window that led to the fire escape that Lindsay had turned into a tiny balcony using little flower pots, well chosen furniture, and baby gates on the stairs. It had served them well when all they had needed was a comfortable place to sit where they could enjoy some nice weather. However, this frigid Fall day wasn't exactly what Danny would have describes as nice weather.

He scrambled through the window, trying not to surprise her. She was sitting on the cold iron ledge, dressed in purple and white pajama pants and the matching solid purple camisole. Her feet were bare, along with her arms and shoulders. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, rocking slowly back and forth, and gave no indication that she knew he was there.

"Lindsay," Danny called, forcing his voice to stay calm. Her only response was to slightly turn her head towards him, though Danny could tell her gaze was unfocused. He could see her body shivering, and the pale palour of her skin. Danny moved quickly around the confined space to kneel in front of her, his hands on her arms.

He was shocked by the emptiness he saw in her expression, and his hands burned from the cold of her skin. "Lindsay," he again called, this time more urgently. It was now clear that she had been sitting out there for some time, and fear of hypothermia had taken over, driving Danny to haul her to her feet.

"Damn it Lindsay, help me here," He commanded, struggling to keep her weak and clumsy body from falling back to the ground.

"Danny?" she asked, bewildered, as if waking from a dream.

"It's alright baby, let's jus' get you inside, 'K?" Danny assured, his concern for her overwhelming his anger. He could hear her teeth chattering near his ear and felt a bit of relief. He knew from his standard first aid training that her shivering was a good sign.

He maneuvered them to the window, but knew from the awkwardness of having to climb through, he wasn't going to be able to just carry her back inside. Danny sat her back down as close to the window as possible, but leaving enough room for him to crawl through the square shaped frame. Lindsay gave no protest, only watched him with drowsy eyes.

Once he had his feet back on solid ground he leaned back through the window and unceremoniously tugged Lindsay's leg, pulling her towards him. Once she was close enough, he slid one arm under her knees, the other under her arms, and lifted her, cradling her to his chest as he brought her back inside. The cold of her body seeped through his clothes and Danny noted how red her toes and nose were.

He carried her to their room and set her on the bed. He felt her body stiffen enough that she would stay upright, though she swayed slightly. Danny moved his hands to cup her face and took in her appearance. He needed to know how bad it was. "Linds?"

"Cold," she said simply, her breathing speeding up.

Danny would have laughed at the ridiculousness of her statement if he hadn't been so frightened. "Ok, I'm gonna get ya to the hospital a'right?"

"No!" Lindsay cried, shaking her head feebly, "I don't want to go. Just please...please warm me up."

Danny was in no mood for a fight. He could tell that she was alert enough now to know where she was, and that already her skins was pinking up. So he stood, made his way over the dresser, and pulled out a pair of Lindsay's wooliest winter socks. He then pulled her to her feet, keeping a strong hold on her, and pulled down her pant and peeled off her shirt, getting the cold material away from her skin. She stood exposed, dressed only in a pair of pink cotton underwear.

"What're you..." she began, but he silenced her with a harsh, "Shut up."

He then pulled the covers away from the bed and laid her down gently. He slid the socks over her feet, then pulled the blankets over her shaking body. He then tugged his own shirt over his head, toed off his Converse shoes and stripped out of his jeans, leaving him in just his black boxers.

He moved to the other side of the bed and slipped under the covers, bringing his body to rest practically on top of Lindsay's. He couldn't help the hiss that escaped as he her ice cold skin came into full contact with his warm body. He then pulled the blankets over his head, completely covering their bodies in a cocoon of warmth. Lindsay tucker her head under his chin and held tightly to his arms, wrapping her legs around his, and welcomed his weight on her body. He glanced down at her and even in the darkness of their cave, Danny saw her eyes begin to droop.

"Nah uh," he said, "Stay awake Montana. You don't get to go to sleep 'til I know ya body temperature's where it's suppose ta be."

Lindsay's eyes snapped opened, but moments later they were again beginning to close.

Danny needed to get her talking. "Lindsay, wake up. Tell me where Lucy is."

"What?" she asked drowsily.

"Where's Lucy?"

"Oh," Lindsay answered, seemingly surprised by his question, "She's with Paige. I gave her some money, so she could take Lucy to Apple Seeds to play and then to get some lunch." She'd nearly repeated exactly what Paige had told him-another good sign. He then felt her rub her nose against his chest several times. "My nose is tingling," she told him.

"That'd be the warmth comin' back to ya," he reasoned, his own body was beginning to heat up due to their well insulated positions. "Anything else tinglings?"

"My toes, and fingers," she answered, her breath tickling his skin.

"Good. What have you eaten today?"

"I ate the other half of Lucy's banana this morning."

Danny noticed that Lindsay's shivering had stopped, and her speech was much clearer. He brought a hand up to her hair and tenderly stroked his fingers through her locks. "How ya doin' Lindsay?"

"Better," she answered, "It's a good sign that everything feels like it's on fire, right?"

"I'm not a doctor Linds, but I think it's a'right. If it get too bad tell me and I'll call the hopsital or Hawkes or somethin'?"

"It's not too bad," she confessed softly. He felt Lindsay take a deep breath. "I'm sorry Danny."

"Hush," Danny said, "we'll talk about it when you're better."

She nodded against him, then asked, "What time is it?"

"Probably nearly 11:00," he guessed.

"11:00?" Lindsay questioned, shocked. "I can't believe it. I'm late for work."

Danny rolled his eyes. "No shit," he mumbled.

Lindsay grew quiet, seemingly lost in her own world of revelations.

"Danny?" she finally called, "I need a bit of air."

He shifted off her body enough so she could roll onto her side, their chests still pressed tightly together, but without his weight bearing down on her. He moved the covers down to just below her chin and felt a cool wave of air hit him.

"Damn it," he groaned, realizing he had forgotten to shut the window. "Be right back." He climbed out of bed and went to shut the window, pausing in the kitchen to microwave a cup of hot chocolate.

He returned to their bedroom, carrying the hot liquid. Lindsay was still snuggled under the blankets, her eyes closed.

"Hey, wake up babe," Danny demanded. Lindsay opened her eyes and stared at him. He set the cup down on the night stand and grabbed one of his sweat shirts out of the closet. "Sit up."

Lindsay slowly shifted into an upright position and Danny shoved the shirt over her head, allowing her to put her arms through the sleeves. He grabbed the cup and and placed it in her hands, ensuring she was able to hold it on her own before letting go. "Drink."

Lindsay looked up at him, her big brown eyes twinkling with the reflection of the liquid that was near her face. "You're mad," she said, her tone making it a statement rather than a question.

"Drink," Danny again insisted, swiping his clothes off the floor.

"Will...will you get back in bed with me?" she asked hesitantly.

"I have ta call Mac," he told her, digging through his pants pockets until he located his phone.

He heard her sharp intake of breath and glanced up at her. "What're you going to tell him?" she asked, her voice betraying her nervousness.

"Honestly, I don't know," he sighed, "I'm suppose ta be back at work in the next 30 minutes. That's obviously not goin' to happen."

"Danny," Lindsay began, but he lifted a hand and pointed at the cup she was holding. "Drink, I know," Lindsay finished, obediently bringing the mug to her lips.

Danny stepped out of the master bedroom, and moved back into the kitchen to call Mac in privacy. He answered on the second ring.

"Mac Taylor."

"Hey Mac."

"Did you find her?"

"I did, but Mac...she's...uh...she' not well," Danny struggled to explain.

"Danny?" Mac pushed.

Danny ran a hand over his face. The last half hour weighed heavily on his mind, the panic and fear, the uncertainty, the overwhelming emotions for his wife caused a lump to form in his throat.

"Danny?" Mac tried again.

"Mac," Danny forced out, working the muscles in his jaw to keep from breaking down on the phone, "I...I know ya need me back, but she can't come in today, an' she needs me here to help 'er. I know we are out of favors here, but if there's anyway we can call in sick I promise I'll make it up to ya. I'll work overtime for regular pay, late shifts or early shifts, extra on-call nights, anything."

He heard Mac's sigh. "This is serious Danny."

"I know Mac. Trust me, I know."

"Tell me Danny, how bad is it?"

Danny thought for a moment, overcome with the prospect of what might have happened if he hadn't come home. "It's not good Mac. Look, I don't want to lose my job, but if I have ta chose, there's no competition. I won't lose my wife."

His statement was met with silence, and Danny grew nervous. "Mac?"

"Danny, take care of your family, and I'll do my best to keep this off the higher-ups' radar, but today's all you get Danny," Mac warned, "if Lindsay's not ready to come back to work or if you can't be here tomorrow working, then I expect both of you to be in my office, going through official channels and making the necessary requests. You got me?"

"I got ya."

"And Danny, remember, you're not alone here. Let me know if there's anything I can do, alright?"

Danny nodded, then remember Mac couldn't see him. "Sure, Mac. Thank you. I 'preciate it. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"I know you will Danny, but we'll worry about that tomorrow. Keep me updated with what you can."

"Will do Boss," Danny signed off. He stared at the phone in his hands, willing the answers to appear on the now darkened screen. He knew Paige would be returning with Lucy soon so the child could take her nap. He sent her a text message telling her that Lindsay was sick, he'd come home, and to bring Lucy home whenever she wanted then have the rest of the day off. Hopefully Lucy will have run her set ragged at the playground and will take a nice long nap, but he'd worry about that when his daughter came home. Right now he needed to check on Lindsay, and decide how to approach this situation with her.

He just hoped he would know what to say.

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**To be continued...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Next chapter: Let's find out what's going in with Lindsay.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Standing Stone**

**Part 3**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: So this chapter kept going and going so I finally had to cut it in half, so we don't get to Danny and Lindsay's intense conversation here, but it will definitely be the next chapter! Hopefully this chapter is still interesting enough. And I made an assumption based on the press release that Dr. Morgan Jefferson is Lindsay's therapist. Now on to the fun part. Thank you to those who have added this story to their favorites and alerts. And a HUGE thanks to those who took the time to review: Dine89, afrozenheart412, webdlfan, and kdzl. Thanks guys!**

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_Danny paced back and forth, juggling an extremely fussy Lucy in his arms, hoping to calm her back to sleep. He knew the lights of the precinct weren't helping matters much, nor the fact that the toddler had been been through a pretty traumatic experience. He tucked his daughter's head against his neck and rubbed her back soothingly._

"_Mama?" the toddler cried for the hundredth time._

"_Shh, baby girl. You're safe. Daddy's gotch ya. Mama'll be back soon," he calmed. His heart breaking for his exhausted child. He knew he would never forget the sounds of her screams when she had been frightened by the gun shot, and scared by the fall the ground. He prayed that as she grew, the memory would fade to nothing, and there would be no permanent emotional damage. _

_Danny's back ached from the weight of Lucy in his arms and the time he had spent walking up and down the hallway, but it was the only way to ease some of Lucy's tension, and if it meant he was in pain, then it was a price he was willing to pay. He tightened her blanket around her small body and shifted her in his arms enough to see her eyes were finally beginning to close and stay closed. Danny didn't dare stop moving now_. _He threw a furtive glance over his shoulder to ensure they were still alone, and then began to hum a familiar lullaby._

_Lucy's eyes opened a fraction and she gave her father a small smile, then closed her eyes with a sigh, her grip still tight on his shirt. Danny continued his song and dance long enough to allow Lucy to slip into a deeper sleep. Once he knew his baby was down for the count, he moved slowly towards the door that led to where the detectives' desks were housed._

_Before he made it to the end of the hallway, however, the door opened from the other side, and Danny saw a familiar dark haired head poke around._

"_Here they are," Don Flack said over his shoulder as he came out from behind the door. _

_Danny shushed him, indicating to the sleeping child, and Don's eyes widened in realization. _

"_Oh, sorry Danny," he whispered, then turning back to the door said, "I got somebody who's been lookin' for ya."_

_Lindsay's petit form came out from around Don's larger one. She looked tired and lost, her lips pressed tightly together, her eyes searching, and Danny immediately needed contact with her. He wedged Lucy's body tightly between his arm and body, maintaining a firm grip on her, then used his now free arm to reach out for his wife._

_She moved quickly towards him, stepping easily into his embrace. He felt a bit of Lucy's weight being lifted and knew Lindsay had moved an arm under Lucy's body and was helping support her._

"_Hey," he whispered._

"_Hey," she whispered back._

_The two adults stared at each other in silence, barely noting the sound of the door closing behind Don's retreating form, allowing them a moment of peace after what had been a pretty chaotic night._

"_She zonked, huh?" Lindsay asked quietly._

"_Finally," Danny answered, "She's been fussin' and cryin' since we got here. She wanted you."_

_Lindsay simply nodded. They had considered having Danny's parents come and get Lucy, but the little girl had begun screaming if anyone tried to take her from her parents, even for a moment, so they decided that as rough as it would be dealing with an over-extended toddler, their daughter needed them. As a result, they had had to take turns with Internal Affairs. Lucy had slept in Lindsay's arms during Danny's questioning, but she had awoken in the hand off when it was Lindsay's turn._

"_She's going to be a terror today," Lindsay pointed out, "Let's promise to go easy on her."_

"_Deal," Danny promised, "And since she ain't gonna be the only grumpy one today let's promise to go easy on each other, a'right?"_

"_Deal," Lindsay parroted. They grew silent again, a hundred different questions swirling around them. _

"_Are we a'right?" Danny asked._

"_A loaded question," she answered, with raised eyebrows. "I survived. Mac said they are calling it a good shoot."_

"_Of course they are Linds. What else are they gonna call it?"_

_Lindsay gave a small, sad smile, and simply shrugged._

"_Hey," Danny said firmly, "All this is jus' procedure. Yeah? A man died, and it has to be investigated. No one thinks you did anything wrong."_

_Lindsay gave him a pleading look. "Can we not talk about this right now? Mac said we can leave, and we have to figure out where we're going to go and what we're going to do with this little baby."_

_Danny narrowed his eyes for a moment, considering her request. She was right, they had a lot to figure out. There home was considered a crime scene, and other than the clothes on their backs, and a bag of things for Lucy, they didn't have much available to them. He didn't know what the right answer was, but he knew they had a little girl that needed to get away from the clamoring of a police station, and be the focus of her parents' attention. _

"_A'right," he agreed, "we'll come back to this topic. Let's go get some breakfast, and we'll figure out our options for at least the next 24 hours."_

_Lindsay pulled away from him, and stepped over to where Lucy's bag sat on the floor. She pulled the bag up onto her shoulder, and led the way towards the exit. They kept their heads down and managed to avoid having to speak with anyone; even Don sent them a wave from behind his desk, sensing the couples need for a quick exit_.

_As they stepped out of the busy police station onto an equally busy street, the morning light chasing away the shadows, Lindsay checked the time on her cell phone, and gave a humorless chuckle._

_Confused by her reaction, Danny threw her a questioning look._

"_It's 9:27," she said simply. _

"_Yeah?" Danny asked surprised. He hadn't realized they'd been at the station for so long._

"_Yeah," Lindsay sighed, then added off offhandedly, "It was self defense and I'm out of the precinct before noon."_

Danny shook his head, freeing himself from the memory. That night had been difficult, and hectic. If he hadn't been so tired, if he hadn't had a sleeping toddler in his arms, and if he hadn't been standing outside a police precinct in his night clothes then he wouldn't have shrugged off her statement. He should have realized...

He should have...

He should have...

Danny ran his hands over his face. He wasn't going to be any good to Lindsay if all he did was mull over the past. He made his way back to their bedroom and found Lindsay sitting up, fast asleep, the empty mug resting in her lap held by limp fingers that were partially hidden by the long sleeves of his shirt. He moved across the room, and sat gingerly on the bed next to her.

Danny gazed at his wife, feelings of tenderness building, waging war with the harsher realities of their situation. Her cheeks were now bright pink from the warmth of the room combined with the heavy blankets and thick sweat shirt. Her lips were dry and parted slightly as her head rested against the headboard of the bed. Her breathing was deep and steady, the soft sound of air rushing in and out of her body calming some of Danny's fears.

His fingers itched to feel the warmth of her skin, and after carefully removing the mug from her grasp he reached out to move the hair away from her forehead and place a kiss on the newly exposed skin. His lips lingered for a moment and Lindsay stirred slightly, but didn't wake. Danny pulled back, stood, and shifted her body so she was now lying down. He was confident her body temperature was where it needed to be, and she wouldn't suffer any lasting effects from her prolonged exposure to the cold.

He remained in the quiet and watched her sleep.

He loved her, and he hated that he found himself a cliche-he loved her more each day. She was his best friend, and he loved laughing with her, talking with her, working with her, parenting with her, living with her, sharing secrets with her and even arguing with her. He would rather be arguing with her then having a pleasant conversation with anybody else. Lindsay was his heart and Lucy his heartbeat.

"How Lindsay? How can I help you?" he whispered to her sleeping form. He was glad she was asleep. He needed the time to reconcile the events of the day.

He continued to stand next to the bed and stare at her. Her eyelashes fluttered as her mind sent her to the land of dreams and nightmares. He knew she was no stranger to nightmares. Danny had quickly learned that what Lindsay kept locked up during the day, fought for freedom during the night. As their relationship had strengthened and they had spent hours talking, her sleep had become deeper. The last few months she had gone back to tossing and turning, waking suddenly, or calling out in her sleep. His instincts screamed at him to protect her, and he couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face. If Lindsay knew what he was thinking _he'd_ be the one in need of protection. His girl didn't respond well when she thought someone was underestimating her. He loved her, but he was pissed.

Danny walked softly out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him. His body was tense, filled with conflicting emotions; his worry and fear wanting to escape as anger. He needed help.

Danny made his way over to the refrigerator and stared at the small card that hung on the door behind a heart shaped magnet Lucy had painted. It had been put up there and forgotten, otherwise, he knew Lindsay would have thrown it away weeks ago.

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number.

"Dr. Morgan Jefferson's Office," the friendly voice greeted on the other end.

"Yeah...uh...Hi. Is Dr. Jefferson available?" Danny stammered, suddenly aware that he wasn't quiet sure what he was going to ask Dr. Jefferson.

"And who may I say is calling?" the perky woman asked.

"Detective Danny Messer," he answered, hoping that by using his title he would have a better chance of speaking to the busy woman.

"One moment please," the voice responded.

Danny listened as light rock began to play through the ear piece on his phone, and he found himself humming along to the Phil Collin's song that was playing.

"Detective Messer?" a different voice called.

"Yeah, that's me," Danny said uselessly. "Dr. Jefferson?"

"That's me," the voice repeated, and Danny could hear the smile in her voice, "Although I was expecting a slightly higher voice."

Danny frowned for a moment, then his face cleared, "Oh, you mean my wife."

"Sorry, my assistant told me Detective Messer was calling, and I just assumed. You must be Danny."

"Yes ma'am."

"What can I help you with today Detective?"

"I...I don't, what I mean is, I'm not sure what you can do, but I think Lindsay needs help," Danny stammered through.

"Help?" the woman prompted.

"Yeah, help I'm not sure I can give 'er," Danny admitted, his heart hammering in his chest.

"That's a big statement Danny. What's happened?"

Danny leaned back against the kitchen counter, bending his body forward slightly. He was silent as he considered the effects any confession of what had happened would have on Lindsay's career.

"Danny?"

"Yeah, I'm here Doc," Danny said with a sigh, "Nothin' specific has happened, I jus' feel like she needs someone ta talk to, ya know?"

"Danny, when Lindsay and I were meeting she wasn't interested in talking to me about personal matters. It was clear she was just fulfilling department requirements. I don't think she would be willing to talk with me."

"I know, I know," Danny said, nodding. "I know she didn't like it..." He growled in frustration. "Didn't you get anything from 'er? Anything ta help 'er?"

"Detective," the doctor's voice said firmly, "I cannot discuss with you my sessions with your wife, but I can tell you that what Lindsay wasn't saying was pretty telling. There is something that Lindsay was determined to keep hidden, and until she finds a way to talk about it, she is going to be weighted down and unable to move forward."

"How do I do that? How do I get 'er to talk ta me?" Danny's question was met by a chuckle. "Doc?"

"If I knew that Danny, then my session's with your wife might have gone a bit better. The truth is, there is no one answer, no magic trick. Lindsay has been through more pain and trauma than most people, and she knows how to keep her feelings and emotions buried. It's what she had to do to survive. She deserves our respect for what she's overcome, but she can't continue on the way she has in the past. Help her to trust you, to feel comfortable and safe, and loved, and maybe she'll open up."

"Yeah," Danny said sadly, "Are you sure there's no secret trick?"

The doctor laughed out loud this time. "Not unless I just missed that day at school."

"A'right, thanks Doc."

"Wait, Danny, before you go, let me offer this advice. Try not to take her lack of communication personally, ok? We all have our defense mechanisms. Help Lindsay work through hers, but in the end, if you think she needs help to keep from harming herself, or someone else, don't hesitate to call me, alright?"

"Sure, of course," Danny answered, "thanks for your time Dr. Jefferson."

"Of course. Goodbye and good luck."

The call ended and Danny stared at the screen, a photo of Lucy wearing Lindsay's oversized sunglasses, smiling. After a moment the light on the screen darkened and Danny was left gazing at his own reflection. For a breath of time he considered whether he was able to do this; to be the husband Lindsay needed, to be the emotional rock. She had carried them through so much and now he found himself unsure whether he was able to do the same. Danny pulled his wedding ring off and rolled it between his fingers. His hand felt awkward and unbalanced without the weight of his band. He wasn't one to lend much credence to symbols, but the circular shape of his ring reminded him that marriage was continual; the happiness, the trials, the growth, the tears, the laughter. It was an unending cycle shared only between him and her, and Danny knew-despite his moments of uncertainty-he would fight to keep them together.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden opening of the front door, marking the return of his daughter. He slid his ring back on and moved quickly out of the kitchen to ensure that Lucy didn't wake up Lindsay.

"Dadee!" Lucy squealed happily, toddling over to him, her arms stretched out.

Danny immediately responded but scooping her up in his arms, but placed a finger to his lips and shushed her. "Mommy's sleepin' baby girl."

"Momma?" Lucy asked, her eyes perking up at mention of her beloved parent.

"Momma's sleepin' a'right? We gotta be quiet 'cause she doesn't feel too good and sleep will help 'er," Danny informed her quietly.

Lucy brought her own small finger to her lips and made a shushing sound.

"Exactly," Danny praised, please by his daughter's comprehension. Lucy grinned, threw her arms around his neck, and hugged him.

"She was wonderful today," the babysitter told him from her spot near the door.

"Yeah? My Luce is a good girl huh?" Danny grinned.

"As long as she's had enough sleep," Paige offered knowingly, "She started getting pretty crabby at lunch, nothing too serious, just whining some and fussing over silly stuff, but it's clear she's ready for a nap."

"Well I wish I could say she gets that from 'er mom, but unfortunately we both seem to get that way when we're tired so I can't say for sure which parent she got it from," Danny said, shifting Lucy so she straddled his hip.

"At least your honest," Paige laughed, then asked, "How's Lindsay feeling? I was concerned when I picked up Lucy this morning 'cause she didn't really seem like herself. I hope it's nothin' too serious." The young woman's question was innocent and sincere, her anxiety for Lindsay's well-being clear.

"I don't think it is. Just a bad cold probably, but I really want 'er to rest."

"Do you want me to put Lucy down before I go?" Paige offered.

"Nah, I'll do it. Thanks though. We appreciate your help with Lucy, an' I know she loves you. We'll make sure an' pay ya for the whole day, an' I call or text ya tonight about whether we need ya tamorrow. If Linds isn't feelin' any better then I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'll let ya know."

"Sure thing. Tomorrow's my half day anyway so I'm not too concerned if we need to skip it," she told him, then turned to Lucy and gushed, "Bye Lucy! Thanks for playin' with me today."

"Tanks payin' wif me," Lucy said back, reaching out. Paige took the child in her arms and hugged her tight. "I love you. See you later."

"luv oo too. See oo lader," Lucy said back, climbing out of her friend's arms.

"Let Lindsay know I hope she feels better soon, an' jus' let me know about tomorrow," Paige said in parting, then left to enjoy her afternoon off.

"Daddee, pay wif me?" Lucy asked, turning her attention to her father, her excitement at having him home in the middle of the day bubbling over.

"Play with you huh? For a few minutes, then it's Lucy's nap time."

Placated by his answer, she grabbed one of his finger's with her tiny hand and pulled him over to her orange tent. "Pay bay-bees?"

"Sure Luce, where's your baby's bottle?"

The little girl puttered around the room, holding her baby doll, and gibbering about her day, while Danny sat on the floor holding a baby doll and a stuffed horse Lucy had shoved in his arms, pretending to feed them cupcakes. They play until Danny saw Lucy's third huge yawn, then he grabbed a book and sat her in his lap, reading about a caterpillar with a huge appetite before carrying her to her room and placing her in her crib.

Lucy fussed at him, but didn't fight when he kissed her on the head and told her to have a good nap. He switched on the cd player they had nearby and the notes of a soft lullaby began to play. Lucy continued to cry, though Danny recognized it as her fake cry and after quickly checking the windows, he stepped out into the hall. Less than 3 minutes later there was only silence from the little girl's room and a quick peek around the door confirmed she was fast asleep. He pulled her door shut, and grabbing the baby monitor off the living room coffee table, made his way back to check on Lindsay.

"Hey," she called softly, surprising him. She lay on her side, her eyes still sleepy, but much more alert than they had been earlier in the day.

"Hey," he answered.

"I heard Lucy fussing," she said, pulling herself up into sitting position.

"Yeah, just her doin' a poor job of tryin' ta convince me she doesn't need a nap," Danny said, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to his wife. "She didn't last long-out like a light."

"You checked the windows?" she pressed, a ritual they now performed on a daily basis.

Danny swallowed his abrasive "of course" and instead replied, "Yep. Shut and locked tight."

"Paige?"

"Gave her the rest of the day off. Told 'er ya weren't feelin' well." He rested an arm on her legs.

She nodded, lowering her gaze to the cuff's of her sleeves. He reached out and wove his fingers through hers. "Linds, we gotta talk about this. We gotta talk about what's goin' on with you."

Lindsay kept her grip on his finger loose as she raised her head, her large brown eyes connecting with his blue ones and simply said, "No."

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**Thanks for reading!**

**The next part should be posted by either Saturday or Sunday and let me tell you it is a doozy! ^_^ Trust me, we will soon find out what is bothering Lindsay and I don't know if Danny's ready for it! (biting nails)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Standing Stone**

**Part 4**

**By ioanhoratio**

**A/N: Okay folks, the beginning of the end here. I don't want to give anything away here so there is a author's note at the bottom, but I will say, just give Lindsay a chance. Now onto my favorite part: Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, namely: kdzl, Dine89, cyn23, silenceeverything, afrozenheart412, and webdlfan. Your support means a lot!**

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"No? What the hell do you mean no?"

_She heard her baby crying. She lay awake and ready if needed when she heard **him.** Was she dreaming? **He** was dead...how was **he** here? In Lucy's room? No!_

Lindsay heard the frustration in Danny's voice, and her heart hardened. "I mean no. I don't want to talk about this."

"You don't want to talk about it. You think after what's happened today I'm jus' gonna accept that?" Danny demanded.

_She didn't think. She moved quickly to where Danny stored his gun, typed in the combination, and pulled the weapon and clip out. The sound of the clip sliding into place echoed in the quiet room, and her heart beat faster with the fear that **he** had heard it. _

"Accept what you want Danny," Lindsay argued, her frustration growing. "I'm sorry I scared you, but I'm fine."

"Fine?" Danny cried, incredulous. "You call nearly freezing ta death fine?"

Lindsay gave a small sigh. "I wasn't going to freeze to death Danny. Please don't turn this into something it's not."

_She moved swiftly, but softly down the hall. She was glad Danny was distracted, and didn't seem to hear her. She didn't want to risk losing the element of surprise. She had to force air in and out of her body, her jaw clenched tightly as the blood rushed in her ears._

_**He **was laughing._

Danny stared at her unbelieving, and Lindsay stared back. Her cold expression set. He stood, shoving off the bed roughly. "You really don't get it do ya?" he accused, "I...I was so...I called and called and you wouldn't answer, and why didn't you answer? 'Cause you were standin' out in the freezin' cold wearin' nothin' but your damn pajamas. What were you thinking?"

_She heard the gun cock and knew she was out of time. She risked a glance around the door frame, and her heart exploded at the sight of her child in that madman's arms. Blind rage took over and with a one calming breath she stepped out from the shadows._

"Just leave it alone," Lindsay snapped, throwing the blankets off her, and moving to rise.

"How 'bout this? No. See I can say it too," Danny said, waspishly. "'Jus' leave it alone' ain't a good enough answer for what you jus' put me through."

"Whatever Danny," Lindsay threw over her shoulder as she tried to move passed him.

"_Put her down," she commanded, her eyes blurring dangerously with tears. She tightened her grip on the gun to keep it steady. _

"No, not whatever. I swear Lindsay, I am tryin' to be patient and understanding, but I'm about ta loose it 'k? I am so pissed at you right now..."

"_You're_ pissed at _me_?" Lindsay interrupted whipping around to face him. Her eyebrows rose together and her expression one of astonishment.

"Yes I'm pissed at you," Danny declared, his frustration boiling over. "I have spent months waiting for you ta talk to me about what is goin' on in your head, but the longer I wait the less I feel like you're ever gonna talk to me."

"Maybe I'm talking a page out of your book," Lindsay retorted spitefully.

"Nice Linds, real nice," he bit back sarcastically. "Is this what this is? You punishin' me for my past mistakes?"

Lindsay pressed her lips together tightly.

_**He** was laughing again, laughing at her, taunting her, challenging her. Could she really shoot at the man holding her child? She had hid before, unable to help those in need. She was not going to fail her child._

"Linds?"

"No," her voice flared, "No, I'm not talking about this." She turned and headed towards the bathroom.

Danny moved to block her path. "Yes you are, we both are. We are gonna talk about what you're hidin' and what's got you so upset with me. We're gonna talk about what had you out on that balcony."

_**He **thought **he** had won. The fear on her face, the desperation on Danny's; h**e** thought **he** knew what was going to happened. **He** laughed and that was the last sound he would ever make._

'_Forgive me,' Lindsay prayed, then did what had to be done._

"Stop it Danny! Why can't the fact that a psychopathic killer holding my daughter and husband at gun point be reason enough for you?" Lindsay spat.

"It would be if that's it, but I don't think it is. We've talked about that. You and me have laid in bed and talked about how scared we were, how difficult it was. We've talked about the effect it would have on Lucy and how we would deal with it. And I have to believe you an' I were being honest with each other."

Lindsay felt her shoulders drop a bit from their stiff position and she admitted softly, "We were."

"Then what? What is it Linds? What is it you wouldn't talk to the therapist about?" Danny pleaded.

Lindsay shook her head and Danny grabbed her arms holding her in place. "Please Lindsay."

_Ready_

She shoved him away, but didn't turn from him. Instead she wrapped her arms around herself and said, "I'm your wife, we are a family, and I keep waiting for you to realize what that means."

Danny's face scrunched in confusion. "I know what that means."

_Aim_

"Do you?" she cried, "Do you know that it means I feel more for you than for myself? That I hurt when you lie to me, or shut me out? That your daughter needs you in her life, not just a legacy of you? That every choice you make effects us and ours effect you?"

"Of course I do."

_Fire_

"Then why do you keep hurting me?" Lindsay shouted, her voice breaking.

Danny stepped back as if she had slapped him. "What?"

Lindsay moved a hand to her mouth, almost as if she were trying to physically keep her words from escaping. She hadn't wanted to start this, and tried desperately to force the bile down her throat, swallowing her pain. "I'm sorry. I... I can't do this."

Danny placed his hands on his hips, and dropped his head. He'd seen the heartache in her eyes, the panic. The urge to give up, to quit fighting was strengthened by the weariness he felt in his chest.

Lindsay interpreted his stance as his surrender and silently turned to leave the room.

_It was over, and she felt like she had been asleep for the past few seconds. She'd killed him and now she was left with her daughter's screams._

She gasped in surprise when she felt his tight grip on her arm. She snapped her head around, her confused gaze collided with his stern one.

"Yes you can, Lindsay. You can do this, and you will. I'll be right here, jus' like I promised, but you are going to do this," Danny said in a low, but firm voice.

Lindsay felt indignation move through her body like a wave of heat. "You've just decided huh?" she demanded, "You say what's going to happened and I just do it because I was the cause of your bad day?"

"Hey," Danny tried again, but Lindsay spoke over him.

"Do you have any idea what it's like living with Danny Messer? The man who knows better than everyone around him, who's so capable of making unilateral decisions for those around him. Except of course when he's wrong or makes a poor choice, then I'm stuck with Danny Messer the Martyr, and his pain is always worse than mine," Lindsay said angrily. "How often have I worried about you, begged you to talk to me, or to include me in life, only for you to tell me every things fine and not to worry?"

Danny stood silent.

"How many times have I forgiven you?" Lindsay continued, "You know a thousand ways to hurt me, but every time I let you back in. You insist that you want to know what I'm afraid to talk about, what I'm afraid to confront, well here it is: I keep thinking that if you had reported your shield stolen, and gone to Mac the moment we knew Shane Casey was involved, then we could have avoided this entire nightmare."

_Her focus was getting to her daughter, and in her haste she slipped in **his** blood._

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**Thanks for reading!**

**A/N #2: So I was REALLY frustrated in how the writers handled Danny's badge fiasco. They wanted it to be a big deal. How do I know that? Because they told us! Lindsay told Danny he could be officially disciplined, and Flack even said the words "It's a big deal." Then the writers turn around and say they didn't want it to turn into a big thing. I can't stand it when writers make the rules and then break them. And to top it all off, Danny pulls the idiot move of NOT telling anyone that an insane killer is involved...whatever. So yes I have Lindsay angry at Danny, because to tell you the truth I was angry at Danny (and the writers). I was also irritated by Lindsay just letting him do it, and that will also be addressed. The next chapter continues this dialogue and things get ugly before they get pretty, but if I promise that they do eventually get pretty will you promise to stick it out? ^_^ Two maybe three more chapters to go until Friday! I'm going to try really hard to make it!**

P.S. Dine89, intense enough for you? LOL!


	5. Chapter 5

**Standing Stone**

**Part 5**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: Well this isn't the final chapter so I'm not going to make my goal, but I hope to have the last chapter posted by Sunday...close enough, right? But I'm sure you guys are too distracted by the fact that today is ALL NEW CSI:NY DAY! ^_^ How am I going to make it through the day? (By reading reviews to this chapter?) Speaking of, a big shout out of THANK YOU to: csimesser1, The-Kiwi-CSI, Dine89, cyn23, webdlfan, afrozenheart412, rhymenocerous, and kdzl. You guys make it worth it! And let me apologize now, I wanted to get this posted so I didn't have a lot of time to proof read, sorry for the mistakes!**

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_After they left the police station and found a place to eat, Lucy woke up and began crying. Lucy cried all through breakfast, she cried at the park, she cried when her parents were holding her, and cried harder when they put her down. She continued to cry at their hotel room, cried during her favorite cartoon, she cried until she cried herself to sleep. Lindsay lay next to her on the bed, stroking Lucy's hair off her face, her own silent tears falling across her nose as she continuously whispered, "I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry. You're safe now. Mommy's here." Her little girl's cheeks were flushed, her body temperature rising, creating a light sheen of sweat, dampening her blond hair. Lindsay wondered if they would ever get back to normal, if it was even possible now. _

"What?" Danny breathed out, his conviction to continue this conversation waning as an indescribable pain shot through him.

Lindsay's face crumpled, patches of red spreading across her the skin of her neck and cheeks. Her body shook with emotion. "I...I'm sorry," she stammered, "I didn't mean..."

"If ya didn't mean it, then why'd ya say it?" Danny interrupted quietly, keeping his distance from her.

Lindsay closed her eyes, and taking a deep breath offered, "I was going to say I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You tell me you think it's my fault our family was threatened by a killer, our daughter, _my_ daughter...you think you can say somethin' like that an' then just apologize?" Danny grilled, his hurt and frustration pushing towards anger.

Lindsay released a snort, and rolled her eyes. "So it begins," she said tiredly.

"What?" Danny snapped.

"You. Is this about you now?" Lindsay asked, throwing her arms out and gesturing towards him vaguely.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Danny said sarcastically, "Please continue tellin' me what a bastard I am, and how hard it is to live with me."

Lindsay pressed her lips together, a frown marring her normally easy-going expression. "Whatever Danny, you just go ahead and feel hurt, and wronged. I was the one who wanted to leave this alone."

"Well you didn't give me a choice, did you?" Danny nearly shouted, catching his tone at the last moment, and instead locking his jaw tightly, then grounded out, "I have ta leave work an' come home ta keep you from hurtin' yourself."

Lindsay just rolled her eyes and tried again to turn away from him. Danny's patience had fled, and he grabbed at the sleeve of shirt, stopping her. "Do not walk away from me," he commanded in a low tone.

Lindsay looked over her shoulder at him, her 'go to hell' dying on her tongue. She had expected angry, defensive Danny, but the look of total devastation on his face surprised her. "Please," he begged, "don't walk out of here before we talk about this. If you wanna sit here an' tell me everything that's wrong with me, fine, jus' please don't leave."

Lindsay could only nodded.

"Ok," Danny sighed, abruptly dropping his hand from her arm.

They stood motionless, staring at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

"Danny..." Lindsay tried, but trailed off, her own uncertainty keeping her from knowing what to say or do.

"I think...I think I can only deal with one thing at a time, Linds," Danny confessed, "Right now, I'm still tryin' to keep from thinkin' about what would've happened if I hadn't come home. I ...the thought of you being so cold, an' alone. I don't know if I can tell you how afraid I was. Please, tell me what happened today...please."

Lindsay wanted to fight, to resist, but she was so tired, tired of holding it all inside. She was facing him directly now, though her gaze was locked on a nondescript patch of wall over Danny's shoulder. "I just needed a breath of air," she explained. "It had been a rough morning, Lucy had been clingy, and I couldn't stop thinking about how she was right after it happened. I started worrying that she was upset about Shane Casey, like maybe she was remembering it or something."

"Linds, we talked to the child psychologist, he told us what to look for, an' so far we, neither of us, have seen anything to suggest she is remembering," Danny pointed out.

"I know that," Lindsay cried, "but she...I pointed my gun at her! I could have shot her!"

"Lindsay..." but she stopped him by raising her hand and shaking her head no. "Don't tell me I had to do it, I don't want to talk about that right now."

Danny nodded his concession, and Lindsay continued, "There are days I can't get my mind to focus, to register what is happening or what I should be feeling. I wanted to numb it. So when Paige showed up I sent Lucy with her, and stepped outside. It's hard to explain but the cold air felt so good, it felt...right. I didn't feel cold, and the longer I stood there the better it felt. My mind seemed so clear I didn't want it to stop."

"That doesn't seem wrong to you?" Danny pressed. He still struggled with having the appropriate proportional response in higly emotional situations, he didn't understand how Lindsay could bury something so deep.

She just shrugged her shoulders. "What seems wrong is being so upset with you and not being able to talk about it."

Danny rubbed a hand over his face in irritation. "That's 'cause it's ridiculous Lindsay," he replied, his tone impatient, "You can talk to me about anything."

Lindsay couldn't contain her gasp of unbelief. "Are you kidding me?" she asked, the octave of her voice going up slightly, "I know you Danny. I can't talk to you about _anything_, I can only talk to you about things you want to talk about."

"That's not fair," Danny interjected.

"It sure isn't," Lindsay snapped, twisting the meaning of his words. "We nearly lost each other when Rub..." she falter, but quickly steadied herself, "when Ruben died. Even now I worry about saying his name around you because it's something we just don't talk about."

He shifted uncomfortably, but said nothing.

"Or how about after you were shot, me finding out a month later the doctor's actual prognosis, huh? And even then, I only found out by mistake. Were you ever going to tell me?" she petitioned, her eyes searching his face for answers. "It's hard for me to believe you ever were. Even after that, after I told you I was here to stay, you chose not to talk to me about when your back was hurting. All I ever got was "it's fine; dont't worry about it" and a nice pat on the head, then sent on my way. Well it's not fine Danny. I wasn't fine, and I needed to talk about it, for us to talk about it, but you wouldn't let us. I'm a human being. I get to feel fear and anger, and sadness and worry, and heartbreak. It's as much a part of being alive as feeling happiness is, but you try to keep me from those things."

She saw the muscles in his jaw working as they clenched and unclenched. She knew he was fighting the urge to respond, and Lindsay felt a twist of sorrow. He had come a long way in his life, in their relationship-had grown from a man who would strike out, to the calmer, more tolerant spouse, and she was proud of him. She nearly faltered again, nearly pulled back, and apologized for wanting to talk about these things; these things that hurt him, but the realization that in their effort to protect each other they allowed too much to go unspoken, weighed heavily on her mind and propelled her forward. "And then this thing with Shane Casey and him getting a hold of your badge."

"I told you about that," Danny broke in, unable to remain silent under her accusations, "I called you the moment I couldn't find my badge."

"And I guess I'm supposed to be grateful for that?" she flared up, then immediately regretted her comment, watching as Danny hung his head, dropping his gaze from hers. This wasn't what she wanted it to be; snapping at each other, striking out. She stepped close to him, using her hand to gently cup his chin, and raise his head-the first tender contact they had shared since this difficult conversation had begun.

"I'm sorry," she said when her brown eyes met his blue, "That was uncalled for. I shouldn't mock you for doing exactly what I've asked you to do." She dropped her hand away, and didn't wait for a response, afraid if she allowed him to speak she would lose her courage to continue. "But there has to be more Danny. I need more. We should have done more. I didn't fight you over your shield, I failed in my role as a wife and a mother. I took the easy road. It was just easier to not push you about it, to not deal with hurting your pride or whatever it is that motivates you to deal with things on your own. I gave up, and we all have to live with the consequences. Don't give me a medal for saving my family from a situation they never would have been in if I had just done what I should have done in the first place. If I had been the mother I am supposed to be. If...if...I had...just..."

Her throat clogged and soon tears pooled in her eyes. She felt her body sag as her adrenaline levels dropped, leaving her feeling drained and vulnerable. Before she could stop it, a sob escaped from between her lips. She moved to bring her hand up to cover her face, but at the last moment reached for him instead. Danny didn't hesitate to respond, pulling her into a tight embrace, holding her as her tears fell in earnest onto his shirt, running his fingers through her hair, never shushing her, but murming soft words of comfort. Lindsay leaned heavily against him, allowing not a breath of air between them. She clung to him, breathed him in, and prayed she hadn't damaged their relationship further.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**Ok, so I had to end it there. It was actually really draining to write this chapter and I just couldn't bring myself to deal with Danny's response this time around. So I know I'm not making my goal, but hopefully you guys will forgive me, and return to see Danny's chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Standing Stone**

**Part 6**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**A/N: Sorry I let this story go. I found this half finished chapter this week and decided to finish it. When I started this story I was so excited by the idea of Lindsay having a decent story line, but after the premier aired and it became apparent that it wasn't going to be developed and was going to be quickly forgotten by the writers I was really disappointed and lost my inspiration and any desire to finish the story. I just felt silly writing about something so intense, when (in my opinion) it was really trivialized on the show. Now that some time has passed I decided I really wanted to finish this story.**

**Thanks so much to those who reviewed the last chapter! Dine89, MoonlightDancerxxx, afrozenheart412, webdlfan, csimesser1, rhymenocerous, Catty, Rhylee, LME, hms, .mylife, m&m:], daytimedream, TASolo, and Juliab24. Sorry for the long wait, *fingers crossed* this chapter doesn't disappoint.**

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_Danny sat on the hard curb, hugging Lucy to him, her tired little body pressed against his knees as her arm draped over his shoulder. He pressed her head against his cheek in an effort to ensure she knew he was there, that she was no longer in that madman's grasp. He used his body to shield her from the chaos and cool night air. Lucy lay limp, exhausted, too tired to do more than occasionally sniffle or whimper. _

_The flashing lights of the police patrol cars and ambulance drew the attention of passing pedestrians, but Danny ignored all of it and looked over at his wife. Her face was stoic and serious as the EMT took her vitals. He had expected her to argue when he suggested that she get checked out, and had been surprised when she had simply walked over to the ambulance. She had refused to remove Danny's large jacket when the EMT went to check her blood pressure, but as soon as it was agreed she could keep it on, she had grown quiet again, her face set in a way he'd only seen once before-the last time she'd faced a killer._

"I'm sorry," he breathed into her hair. He doubted she'd heard him, her sobs continuing to pour out of her, but he had to say it. He said it again and again and soon he heard her strained voice mimicking him. She pulled back, her face red and splotchy, here eyes swollen and watery, her nose touching his chin.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her breath tickling his neck as she forced herself to calm down. Soon neither felt the inclination to speak and she could only rest her head against his chest.

They stood in silence. From where Danny stood he could see the lights of the baby monitor move in time with Lucy's breathing. He struggled with what to say, fighting his instincts to defend himself, to argue Lindsay's accusations, but part of him refused to allow the words to form. It was the part that deep down feared that she was right. He simply wanted to argue what he wished to be true. He wanted to argue that he had included her in his decision to not report his badge stolen, but he hadn't. There was a part of himself that he kept hidden from her, not wanting to to see the pain it would cause her, but he had unknowingly caused more damage.

"Lindsay," he called softly.

Her face was sad, tired. This was the Lindsay that lived with guilt, and pain, and disappointment. This wasn't the Lindsay that she had worked so hard to become. This wasn't the happy, smiling mother and wife. "Are you happy?" he asked her suddenly.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

Danny suddenly felt very afraid, very unsure, like he was walking perilously close to the edge of a long deadly drop. He had promised her, but had he failed? "I asked if you're happy Lindsay," he said quietly.

"I..." she hesitated, her own insecurities manifested as she struggled to respond, "I...I love you."

Danny stepped away from her. "That's not what I asked. I know you love me Linds. I want to know if you're happy. It's a simple yes or no answer," he pressed, frantically needing her answer, while fearing he already had it.

Lindsay set her jaw and shot back, "It's not a simple yes or no answer. You want to know if I'm happy. Am I happy as a mom? Yes. Am I happy with my work? Yes. Am I..."

"Are you happy in our marriage?" Danny rushed to interject.

Lindsay's mouth snapped shut. He could see her visibly swallow, and felt his chest constrict with pain. He feared his world was about to come crashing down, and he had no one to blame but himself. He stumbled back and sat inelegantly on the edge of the bed, buried his head in his hands and wished he could take back his question, that he could just go on pretending everything was fine. He would rather live a lie with her than be forced to face the truth and lose her forever.

He was startled from his despair when he felt her hand on his cheek. His head flew up and he realized she had moved to stand in front of him. He felt her smooth fingers run along the skin of his face. "Linds?" he choked. He could say no more. The terrible feeling that had formed in his stomach had moved up to his throat, threatening to release itself as a sob.

"Oh, Danny," she offered with resignation.

"Please," he begged, grabbing her hands in his, "please." His words were strangled, and stilted by the emotions running through him.

"Danny," she repeated, her voice stronger, "I'm happy in our marriage."

"You hesitated," he accused.

Lindsay pressed her lips together and nodded. "I did."

She could see the look of rejection pass across his face. "I did, because I hadn't stopped to think about that in a long time Danny," she explained, "We've been trucking along, you and I, trying to keep our heads above water. Between work and Lucy, it seems like we haven't taken time for each other in a while. Our vacation was rather rudely interrupted, and since Shane Casey...since he..." she struggled to find what she wanted to say, "since he died...no, since I killed him, I haven't stopped moving, trying to out run what I've been feeling. I haven't had time to stop and think about us."

Danny's brow knit in confusion as he did his best to understand what she was saying. Without warning, he tugged her down to sit next to him on the edge of the bed. He kept the fingers of one hand wound with hers and their shoulders pressed tightly against each other, the thigh of his leg feeling the heat of hers, but he dropped his gaze to his lap. She didn't fight him or try to move away from him.

He heard her give a small sigh then continued, "But Danny, I'm not happy. Not when I'm feeling like this all the time. I'm happy to be married to you, but that doesn't mean we don't have changes we need to make."

"I know," he whispered.

"I told you once that it scared me that you think you have to lie to me, and I'm proud of you for changing, because you haven't lied to me since," Lindsay praised, "but you still seem to have this need to protect me, and I can't live like that any more Danny. You have to tell me we are a team, a real team."

He felt the bed shift and saw Lindsay move to kneel in front of him, forcing his eyes to meet hers. She pulled his other hand into hers and gripped tightly. He saw the look of desperation and felt a moment of hope. He knew she wanted to fight as hard as he did to keep their marriage. "I thought I was doing the right thing," he confessed, his heart breaking at the realization of how utterly wrong he had been, "I thought I was doing what I'm suppose to do, protect you, protect Lucy. I'm suppose to protect my family. I thought I was doing the right thing."

Lindsay eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. "I know, baby," she comforted.

"You're so strong Lindsay," he said, trying to get her to understand, "you've already been through so much heart ache and pain in your life. I do feel a need to protect you, to ensure that you never have to go through something like that again, and...I failed."

"No," she cried, "no. I sincerely thank you for your concern. It means so much to know that you value my happiness so highly, but Danny, if I have to accept what happened to me and live my life, including the dark times, then you have to as well. You have to accept what happened to me and allow me to live my life and allow yourself to be apart of it. Even knowing that there are going to be times when you hurt me or when you can't protect me. Do you understand?"

"I think so," he imparted honestly.

"You didn't fail me Danny," Lindsay insisted, "We've let each other down recently, but we haven't lost, not yet. I'm not ready to give up."

Danny pushed off the bed and came to kneel in front of her. "I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you."

"We need to make some changes," she told him, " I'm beginning to understand that shutting you out, shutting out what happened, trying to run from it was wrong of me."

"Yes it was," he agreed more harshly than he had intended. Seeing her wince he added in a softer tone, "Sorry."

Lindsay took a deep breath and shook her head. "No, if we are going to fix this then we are going to start now. Obviously this is something that has upset you, and you are going to tell me, even if you think it will hurt me or upset me."

"Are you testin' me?" Danny bit out.

"No," she said, understanding his meaning, " this isn't a test. I'm not trying to see if you are able to say hurtful things to me. You said you wanted to talk about this, so that means talking about it, all of it. I can't be the only one opening up."

Danny suddenly felt exhausted. "I understand, and I want to discuss this with you, but I'm askin', and this isn't me avoidin' it, I'm askin' if you think we can take a step back for a minute and table this for later tonight?"

Lindsay looked at her husband of two years, she looked at the dark shadows under his eyes, the way the corners of his mouth drooped into a small frown, and the hunch of his shoulders. She recognized the weariness in his body.

Sensing her wavering, Danny added, "I'm worn out, and I know you've gotta be jus' as tired. This has been difficult to discuss. I don't want to drown in this, an' jus' need a moment to catch my breath."

She nodded, and used his shoulders to push off of as she stood. "Come on, you can help me fold the towels. Lucy'll be waking up soon anyway."

Danny also stood. "I hate folding laundry," he whined, accepting her offer of a temporary truce.

"I know," she smirked impishly, then began to leave.

"Linds," he called to her retreating form. She turned, her hand outstretched to for his. He took it. "We'll talk, tonight," he promised.

"I know."

To be continued...

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**Thanks for reading!**


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